The wrong shell

The picture of you old, on the screen,
first love memories sitting in front of me,
in my mind.
Your hair was playing to cover your eyes;
remember that restaurant?
Me?  I can’t forget that smile,
a future surrounded by the past.
It’s gone, swallowed by all those hours
and many of my mistakes.
Jokes in the doings of fate…
Should I have embraced that first time
that was never sealed with a kiss?
Should I have stayed without the tenderness,
the bliss of touching your skin?,
It was denied by age, by wrongful events.
Can love be strange enough
that wouldn’t demand one caress
or many for that matter? 
Your picture of many seasons on another place
The same smile,
the same eyes,
the same everything,
but not the same face.
Not the same feeling,
but a yearning that wanders
“what if?”
Maybe it is because love is or was bored stiff,
I see you on the screen…
Should I type “How have you been?
Did you found happiness?” 
That kiss that never was
took a piece of me, and a quest
begun,  “what if”  “what if” “what if” 
A brain misplaced.
We were buddies and not sweat hearts.
How could I have guessed
that you were trapped in the opposite shell?